I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
