I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
