mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
