This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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