I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
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