she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
