Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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