Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
