I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
