OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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