How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this boner is exhausting
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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