sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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