Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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