it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
