Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
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