Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize