I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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