Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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