Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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