I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
