I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
