Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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