so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
