foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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