i just wanna soil my oats bro
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
