Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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