Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
