Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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