I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
handjob tips. give me some.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
