dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm passing your future prison.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
