please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
