Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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