I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
