Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
