Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
