they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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