saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
