Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
