I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
