even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
