when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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