I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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