I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
