i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
