you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
