the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
