hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
