Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
