we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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