Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
