A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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