oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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