Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
