help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
