proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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