pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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