mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize