I bet he comes in French.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
