her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
