No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
