I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He better not be in your backpack
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
