wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize