I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He felt like a one man threesome
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
