So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
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he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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