why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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