East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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