you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
