What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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